Bitter-sweet farewell 2023

30 grudnia, 2023
I’ve managed to share 10 entries since September. Objectively a pretty good number, I’m high-fiving myself for regularity. No no, I should start by high-fiving myself for starting this whole blogging adventure. Super experience, a little brain stimulation while writing never hurts, and I even come out on the plus side in the end. I’m ahead by some nice messages from friends, but also strangers, by some well-written texts, but most of all, by such an inner sense of fulfillment? Well, okay it’s not the peak of my ambitions, but due to the fact that we practice gratitude I appreciate the very start of it all.

It is known that it was a theoretically hard year for me, in practice I somehow managed to put everything well in my head that it was not so hard at all. Because if I had to write what I learned this year-it’s this. The head plays the first fiddle. If you put things together in your head, get the right distance, and at the same time have favorable conditions from the outside, there is little that will put you in a jam. Altogether this year I underwent two surgeries, two treatments, defended one master’s degree, and finally a little success at work fell in. 

That is, in 2023 I really gained a lot. A lot of different experiences. And this is exactly how she would like to remember this year. I am very grateful, seriously. The pain threshold raised, general mental stamina too, the good people themselves around, and on top of that arranged in my head. I learned that despite the general unfairness of fate, (well, because hey I’m not going to lie that dialysis is great- I’m a flunky 90% of the time, can’t drink tea and eat half the stuff) you can find something positive in everything. A bit of coaching, and that’s not quite what I mean. No less is the main thought that accompanied me this year.

But… Was it hard at times? Well, sure. I won’t go back to the beginning of the year, because I wrote about it in a summary of my first year on dialysis, but I’ll cut short what’s happening now. When the situation was relatively stable and finally after months of struggle I was able to bring the atopic dermatitis to normal then… During the change of the dressing at the catheter my skin at the entrance was torn, so that for two months I have had a problem with it. And due to the fact that it is a movable place it does not want to heal on its own, as a result of which the catheter began to slip out. And so I’ll probably start 2024 with a small surgical procedure to clean it up there. And is it the end of the world? Well, of course not, but I have it in the back of my mind all the time. On top of that, I have to ask to be treated gently, so that the situation doesn’t get worse, and well… Sometimes someone will roll their eyes over me anyway, even though they are paid to do it, and they don’t come charitably XD I don’t think I’m given to wait in peace for a transplant, adventures stick with me.

And that’s right, a transplant. They could have called me already, too. You can see for yourself that I’m already encountering situations that suggest it’s time to leave the dialysis stationXD I have really cool plans for „after the transplant.” Despite my optimal level of performance while on dialysis, I am aware of some limitations. And I make the most of what I have, but at the same time I’m ready for more!

So I sincerely wish that 2024 will be a year of transplantation, travel, blog development and a year of taking advantage of the POSSIBILITIES. Of the opportunity to go away, of the opportunity to learn, of the opportunity to eat tomato soup and drink tea. Of being able to enjoy an extra 12h a week for squash or other strokes. And much more…

I wish you the same. That you see opportunities, especially where they are sometimes hard to spot, and take advantage of them 200%.

Take care,
Olahola xo
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